So Long Insecurity

A friend of mine who also is the mother of three including a set of twins, read this amazing book called So Long Insecurity by Beth Moore. She didn't just read it once but started it again a year after the first time, and different things spoke to her. But one thing would not leave her mind. "Every. Woman. Needs. To. Read. This." So she prayed about it, bounced the idea off of a close friend, and decided that, in fact, the Lord was leading her to invite a group of women to get together to confront the insecurities that the enemy is attacking us with, uproot them and replace them with the word of God using this book!

Last night was our first time getting together. It was meet and greet style with snacks and good conversation compelled by great ice breaker questions. There were 12 of us there, and 2 or 3 were missing that will be joining in the weeks to come.

As I looked around the room at the women and heard their stories about why they wanted to do this group, it was obvious to me that my friend was right. God put this on her heart. In obvious ways I could see that each woman had a partner in that room that was sharing the same struggle or place in life. There were so many parallels that were weaving our lives together. I can't wait to see the not so obvious things that God has in store for us!

I felt the timing of this group was perfect, as God's timing always is! It's been almost two years now since Dustin and I separated. One of the fall out's from that is that I have been struggling with insecurity about my life as a mother, a friend, a person...a christian. I care way too much about what other people think of me now....to the point that it causes some anxiety. I'm tired of being in this place. I'm ready to step out of this bondage and into the freedom that I have been given in Christ Jesus!

Catch Up

I'm terrible at this! :) And I'm okay with that.

Day 4: Thankful for spontaneity. Off the cuff went with my favorite cousin to the Blues game in St. Louis.

Day 5: Thankful for family. Got a really good day of hanging out on the couch with my favorite cousin. Then met up with my sister and mom to go Christmas shopping. It was a lovely time.

Day 6: Thankful for the new small group I'm in. I'll have an entry all about that next.

Day 7: Thankful for fall weather. It's so chill and laid back. It's like the dog days of summer only colder. :P I could drink coffee, read books, and crochet all day long.

Giving thanks on Day 3...better late than never.

Day 3 is here and I didn't post for Day 1 or 2. I was informed this morning by Kimberly Staples McDonald that I am now a SAHM and everyone else is blogging, so I should too. Because that's good practice in life....to do what everyone else does? :)

Anyways, let's catch up.

Day 1-I am thankful for my children. I've started keeping a jar filled with funny moments that happen each day that are written on bright colorful cardstock. My goal is to sit down with them on New Years day each year and pick out our favorites from the last year and place them in an album that we will cherish for years to come.

Day 2- I am thankful for my return to staying at home with my children. It is a gift that in my new life I didn't feel was possible. God knew it all along.

TODAY Day 3- God's word....spoken to us and through us, written down for us so that we would always remember his faithfulness. Have you ever found yourself feeling like God was nudging you to tell someone something....maybe just a word, a phrase.....something encouraging, maybe something that didn't even make sense to you? But when you swallowed the nervous lump in your throat and spoke, it made that person light up or even cry? Maybe you didn't see it. But God speaks to us and through us. God's word gives people life!

I found out a few days ago that I'm soulfully wounded to the point of a schitzoid state of mind(that's the label I found for it anyways). Thank God there is a source for my indecision and lack of confidence in my choices. Taking two steps back and asking God to bring on the healing. Don't know how long it will take for him to reconstruct the depths of my heart, but I know he's got it all worked out. Friday I will join several members of my worship team for an intensive two day prayer ministry to ask God to reveal and restore us to who He intended us to be. Be in prayer for us as we uncover and break open wounds of the past and present in order to be whole people.

To wake with a smile

6:30 this morning I woke to two little boys wrestling and laughing in my bed. My day started with a smile and I'm hoping that sweet moment will carry me through the rest of the day with two destructive little two year old boys. Yesterday, I found my iPhone floating in the toilet.

Brooklyn's Anger Management Plan

Every now and again Brooklyn gets a little ticked. I can't say I blame her. I mean who doesn't get mad when Ken won't fit in Barbie's car because his legs won't bend?! Whatever the antagonist, over the years I have tried to teach Brooklyn to manage her anger in a way that is not explosive or toxic to others. When she was two, I taught her to blow air out of her mouth and wiggle her fingers. That made all of us smile or laugh a time or two. And now that she is 5, she thinks that she's just too big for that method of anger management. I agree.....although it would still bring a laugh if she would do it. She's not a fan of anyone laughing at her these days though, and I'm sure it would invoke more anger. So, we've been working on taking taking a time out away from the problem whether it be an activity or people that she may be playing with. Until today, I've had to instruct her to do so. She had a friend over and they were playing in Brooklyn's room until Brooklyn got angry with the friend. Brooklyn told her that she needed time by herself and she left the room and went to sit on my bed. I did not intervene. I wanted to see exactly how this would play out. The friend did not understand and came to me crying. I explained the situation and told her Brooklyn was just trying to find a way to put her happy pants back on. The friend understood and went to play in Brooklyn's room in the meantime. After Brooklyn was feeling a little better, she came to me and asked me to draw a flower on a piece of paper. She then instructed me to write, "I'm sorry" on it. I did and she took the flower to her bedroom door, quietly knocked and waited for her friend to answer. When her friend opened the door, Brooklyn gave her the "I'm Sorry," flower and apologized! I love my girl! It was so good to see her practicing this new skill. It makes a mama proud!

God's Hand In Your Life

This morning I read an email devotional that is delivered to my inbox daily. It talked about how, "it is a delightful and profitable occupation to mark the hand of God in the lives of ancient saints and to observe His goodness in delivering them, His mercy in pardoning them, and His faithfulness in keeping His covenant with them." And then it asks if it would not be more interesting and profitable to look at our own lives to see God's hand at work. So I began to ponder.
Looking back, I can say there are many many times God's hand has been noticeably at work in my life and I'm sure there are countless times that I didn't even realize He was there. One particular thing came to mind this morning though. And at the time, I would not have told you that I thought God had anything to do with it.
I was 15, and my mom kicked me out of our house. That resulted in me moving to Saint James to live with my dad. Most of you already know that I was moving there from Union where I had only lived for one year. Before that I had lived in Cuba. But I was in love with Union. The school had so many amazing opportunities that Cuba did not. The Choir and Band went on trips and the teachers showed, with incredible enthusiasm, their belief in their students. I couldn't have been happier. I had made new friends that were also amazing and unlike some of my friends from Cuba, had no desire to drink or get high. Some might think moving to a new school would present a lot of pressure, but I found it a relief. I was able to reinvent myself for the better and excel in areas that had once been stagnant due to lack of opportunity. I was IN LOVE with Union. Still to this day, when I think about having to leave the new found friends and school, my heart actually hurts. However, I think this is one of the moments in my life that God's hand was at work. After I got to Saint James and made a few phone calls to the school, I found out that summer band camp would be starting the next week. What timing!? John and Molly said they had been praying for a trumpet player....I'm not sure if God was answering their prayer or saving me, but somehow he worked it out for all of us. And to top it off this band was going to the Bahamas for their band trip!!! lol So again, God was presenting opportunities that I would not have had in Cuba and again giving me amazing teachers that inspired me to grow personally, musically, and spiritually. The biggest blessing that he had in store for me in Saint James though is one that has lasted a lot longer than the few years that I had left in high school. It was and is the amazing friendships that I formed. I think it is so amazing that God gave me so many wonderful christian friends to be surrounded by. I can't even tell you the magnitude of this blessing. And still to this day, I know that I can go to these people for guidance and prayer. I love you all. God only knows what would have become of me if I'd stayed in Cuba, and honestly, I may have grown musically in Union, but I don't think I would have grown in my faith. God's hand delivered me and gave me you. Where have you seen God's hand in your life?